This week has been a kick in the face a little bit. I found out that a friend, the kind of friend you hang out with every few years and it feels like no time at all has passed, died in July 2020. The revelation brings on all kinds of emotions.
I am pissed at myself that I hadn’t checked in since last February. I am sad that I didn’t know how close the end was. Mostly I am just sorrowful for his wife and kids.
I can clearly remember the day he told me he had leukemia. I met him at Peet’s coffee after not talking to him for a bit. He responded to a text message I had sent two months prior with “Hey, have time for a coffee?”
It wasn’t odd for one of us to send a text message and then the other dude to respond a month later. We were busy suburban fathers with demanding jobs in Silicon Valley. But we would always end up hooking up with a couple of guitars and making music together. Or going for a hike and talking about family and faith, or any number of topics.
It was odd for us to meet up for coffee but I was just happy to see him. He had lost a lot of weight and I complimented him and he smirked and said “I have been on a special diet.” When he told me we both cried right there in public. So manly. We gave each other a ration of crap for it.
He beat leukemia for a while, I had no idea he was sick again. He hadn’t responded to my text messages for a while. I just randomly searched his name last night after someone else responded to my last text message with a “You have a wrong number.” I found an obituary and I didn’t believe it. My wife found a go fund me for his family when she searched his name last night. It was real, my stomach sank.
I spent the morning walking and listening to songs he and I had worked on together.
I was thinking and walking and here is what I came to:
I will always miss you Jon. Thanks for being my friend.